Emotional Intelligence is nothing without proper communication
Updated: Oct 23, 2019
Emotional intelligence (EI) is definitely essential to get promoted and to fulfill one's career path. Discovering new theories and novel concepts in the field of EI grew significantly in the past twenty years. EI became a type of science, with several theories, various models and thousands of suggestions for application. This plethora caused EI to start splitting away from its close partner and main interpreter; which is skilful communication.
Having a high emotional intelligence without proper communication skills is like knowing all the great bakery recipes of the French cuisine yet never baked a single cake! Emotional intelligence has to end up with proper communication to translate it into a tangible benefit; otherwise you will be a genius student who leaves his answer sheet blank.
Communicating with those around you is the main—and maybe the only—way they come to know you as a person and as a professional. While your intelligence and professionalism can be clear to others in other ways, such as feedback and records of achievements; it is direct communication—especially verbal communication—that paves the way for people to actually sense and appreciate your personal and professional traits.
Effective communication is formed of various, yet interlinked elements: your topic, your intro, the selection of your wording, the structure of your talk, your attitude, your sound and your appearance are all elements that determine how effective you are in your communication. Effective communication does not only help you convey your message and deliver your thoughts clearly and constructively, but it is also an effective way to reflect your emotional intelligence, and the tool to apply your emotional comprehension.
One point to end with: communication is not just about what you say (content), or how you say it (style), it is also about how you sound while saying it (your own sound). In her book, “It’s The Way You Say It.” Carol Fleming speaks about “hearing yourself as others hear you.” Fleming claims that we rarely get the opportunity to hear our speaking in the context of other voices when we do not know for sure that it is our voice. She encourages us to record our own voice while speaking and then listen to it. This is how we can hear their own voice in the same way others hear it. What I would suggest here is to take this exercise a step further, focusing on the contents of your talk and not only your voice. You can play this as a game with some of your friends; select a topic to discuss within 10-15 minutes, record the discussion of each one of you, then play them randomly. Listen to all the discussions, this will help you to hear both your argument and your voice as others hear them, and will help you discover what you are missing in your communication.
In my book "Becoming a PEAK Performer" I take a relatively new and innovative approach to utilizing EI, ensuring that it has to be supported by strong communication skills, otherwise it will provide no value for one's career.
"Social media websites are no longer performing an envisaged function of creating a positive communication link among friends, family and professionals. It is a veritable battleground, where insults fly from the human quiver, damaging lives, destroying self-esteem and a person's sense of self-worth." Anthony Carmona